Tag Archives: Sayings

Just a Wee Blether…

About being S.O.L. ya goober

Last week I came face to face with what was described as “an iconic piece of Americana history”. There, in the car park of a shopping mall, was the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile – a car shaped like a giant hot dog on a bun. It produced loud OMGs from passers-by and I am now the proud possessor of a toy “weinerwhistle” given to me by the driver, a “hotdogger”.

It made for a hugely exciting Sunday afternoon trip to the store. And if it all sounds like a bit of a foreign language, it’s even more complicated than that. Americans use the German word weiner – as in schnitzel – to describe sausages on a bun. A barbeque with sausages over here is called a weiner roast. Meanwhile in the UK we use the term hot dog, a phrase invented in the United States.

weiner

It got me thinking about the various expressions I hear in America on a daily basis that I never heard in Scotland. Sayings that have no real UK equivalent.

When I first heard someone saying S.O.L. I had no idea what it meant. Now I hear it all the time. It stands for Shit Out of Luck. So if the wage rise you were hoping for doesn’t materialise, your least favourite relative arrives for the weekend, or your fantasy football team gets hammered, then you really are S.O.L.

Americans are obsessed with shit. Phrases such as “don’t give me no shit”, ‘you’re shitting me”, “shit happens”, “holy shit”, “what the shit”, CRS (can’t remember shit) and “up shit creek without a paddle” are common parlance. “Shit on a shingle” is an old US military expression for creamed, chipped beef served on toast. And if you can’t make up your mind you will be told to “shit or get off the toilet”.

But when they see a shit, Americans will warn you “not to stand on the doggie-doo”.

If you watched Spongebob Squarepants – and I know at least one aficionado of the show – you’ll know the character Goofy Goober. A goober is a type of peanut but the word in America describes a dopey harmless goofball. One step further than a goober is a hayseed, a sort of clodhopper, bumpkin type.

I’ve never heard anyone saying goober in Scotland. But as a matter of interest, here is the Urban Dictionary definition. “It’s a term of endearment really. It comes from the ancient Scottish verb “to goub”, which has to do with doing a dance and smiling sheepishly while doing so, exposing the goubs in one’s teeth.”

In America, don’t expect anyone nowadays to say they will call you, or email you, or contact you in any way. They won’t. Instead they will “reach out” to you. It’s a phrase beloved of younger, up-and-coming corporate types. Every time I hear it I have this vision of a clergyman on an alter reaching out towards his flock.

We had lunch in a self-service restaurant last week. The waitress told us we could fill our plates with chicken, beef, veg, “and all that good stuff”. It’s a common – and I find rather lazy – phrase used by companies to persuade customers to buy. But why don’t they tell you what “all that good stuff” is? What if you don’t think it’s good?

People here are never up to their eyes, they are “super-busy”. If you crack a joke, someone will tell you, without laughing, that it’s “too funny”. Instead of leaving a building, you “blow this popsicle stand”, if you want a piece of gossip you ask for the “skinny:” or “the 411” (for telephone information you dial 411), and if that nugget of information is difficult to believe you can reply with “get out of town” or a long drawn out “shut…up”.

Given that all these idioms eventually find their way across the Atlantic, it won’t be long until you’re telling Mrs MacLeod, the barista in the Achiltibuie tearoom, to get that decaf skinny latte ready in a New York minute.